Monday, February 2, 2009

Orange juice isn't sleep, and other disappointing realities

This past week I've had the great blessing to be able to work overnight shifts in the lab. Please note the usage of the phrase "great blessing". It's meant to cause jealousy in others who didn't get this same opportunity, while at the same time hide the fact that I may or may not have been really excited to do this. So it turns out, not getting enough sleep can make you feel sick. But drinking orange juice can help stop you from getting sick. To me, it seemed obvious that this means that orange juice can replace sleep. Not so. Despite drinking a fair amount of orange juice the first night, I still felt pretty groggy towards the end, and somewhat sickish, until I got a pretty serious nap in. So it turns out, orange juice is not a good substitute for sleep. Don't trust me on this though, feel free to test this out yourself. I know I was shocked to learn this.



Orange juice, it supposedly does the body good. But apparently it's not a sleep substitute...very disappointing...see if I ever drink it again.

Did you know socks don't last forever? It's sad, but true. It seems like they should, I mean, it's not like you grow out of socks, they're not quite one size fits all, but they're close enough. But it turns out, socks wear out. Just one of those cold, dark realities of life. I've been faced by this recently, when I started realizing more and more of my socks had holes in them. I would put my socks on in the morning, note that one had a hole in it, and make a mental note to throw it away later (it was too late to throw it away at this point, obviously. I was already wearing it). Sometimes I remembered, more often than not I forgot. Eventually it seemed to always happen, and I had to go and buy new socks. Sad, but true. Don't worry though, Kroger carries socks, very high quality brands I'm sure. While I've accepted the fact they don't last forever, I'm hoping to at least get 25 years out of them.


I realized that a lot times I put the pictures before the paragraph they pertain to. I like to think it builds up suspense for the next paragraph. What could the last disappointing reality be? Is it about the chicken? Maybe the playing cards. Probably not the very tough looking hand, that obviously belongs to a very tough man...probably,,,

And the last disappointing reality that we must face in life from time to time is that forks can't cut everything. I'm not much of a knife user, I definitely prefer just to use the side of the fork to cut off whatever I want. And it works most of the time. Sometimes though, you have to break down and actually use a knife. I guess that's why it was invented...people eventually realized that forks just couldn't cut through everything. Secretly I'm not sure if it's socially acceptable to cut food with your fork, or if you're always supposed to use the knife. I like to think it is...if it isn't, don't tell me. Ignorance is, in reality, bliss. Ignorance will never be on my disappointing realities list.

5 comments:

Nathan said...

That OJ story and the thought of you as a nuclear engineer is a tough combination to accept in my mind. Just promise me you won't be replacing any antimatter with peanut butter (I have no idea what antimatter is but sounded like a cool thing to say to a nuclear guy)

Dan Ritter said...

Maybe, you should invent a fork with a knife built in to one of the tines...I can see some hurdles to overcome, like how to make it not cut your mouth when you were eating with it, but the result would be well worth the work...

Trent & Emma said...

Those were some sad realities. You may find Lemony Snicket's Horse Radish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid inspiring, or depressing. You reminded me of it. Here is a link to a summary of it
http://www.harpercollins.ca/books/9780061240065/Horseradish/index.aspx

Elizabeth Downie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Elizabeth Downie said...

Poor Mike. Sounds like you have been facing some harsh realities lately. Thanks for sharing your findings. I had no idea about orange juice not equaling sleep. You just saved me a cold or flu, my friend.